The Back-hand five!

Ok, so today, I had a chat with a friend, about nothing in particular, I just now that I have been in a cloud of tiredness, a zombie-like state if you will for the past two days. I think this is mainly because I am getting sick as well, but the fact that a great whopping essay was due today and I went to my class movie screening this after noon, featuring a movie that apart from the plot, had characters that were about as interesting as watching paint dry.

Shortly after, I was making my weary, tired way to the bus stop to go home, and spotted a friend who I had a conversation with about the back-hand five. I had first told him that to wake myself up during the movie screening, my hand suddenly had a life of its own and smacked myself in the face 3 times to wake me up, after which my friend and I had burst into a fit of laughter, which I'm am quite sure did not impress the people around us.

Anyways, back to my point… the back-hand five. It could also be called the "Dorsum five". Apparently a solution to hitting yourself in the face, if you want to eliminate the noise of smacking without losing any of the force. So in effect, the back of your hand gets more usage, and you can basically tell your palms to kick back for a while.

My friend even showed me that starting with a back-hand five, and ending with another hand movement like thumbs up or spirit fingers, looks way cooler than starting with a regular high-five. Say you "totally owned" a business meeting or presentation. The back-hand five is the perfect solution to discreetly acknowledge your success under the table with a friend.

This also made me think of the other usages of the back-hand five. I mean think of the possibilities. I'm sure the back of my hand has never been so excited to learn it will now be as loved as the palms of my hands. No longer will it be the tortured canvas, used to write notes on, where a piece of paper can't be located. (as for you forearm, you have to work harder to plead your case).

We could use the back-hand five as an alternative to the handshake- yes I do know that this idea is revolutionary and controversial, but consider it a gift from a resident Germaphobe. Ever been in a situation where you were forced to shake the hand of someone undesirable? Imagine here if you will, a sweaty, smelly man, so weighed down by his rolls of oleaginous flesh that he huffs and puffs after a short trip from his office desk to the bathroom. Would you want to shake this man's hand? What if it meant the difference between getting a job to stay afloat and feed your family, and living in a cardboard box in a side alley for the remainder of your natural-born life? Ok maybe not that extreme, but you get the point.

Just imagine, a simple back- hand five, no transference of germs and sweat to your hands, no offence taken by a potential employer, and the world is right.

We can even use the back-hand five when we have really bad aim. Ever noticed that it is a bit of a fine art to master the high-five? Some people can't get it right until the fourth or fifth attempt. This, quite frankly is embarrassing. But with the back-hand five, we are slowing down the process, enabling even the most simple-minded people to master the art.

Essentially it is a community building exercise that can be intimate or professional, and one day I am hoping will take over the world.

Say NO to PALMS! Say yes to your DORSUM'S!!!

 

Thankyou, and sorry for not blogging yesterday, I had an assignment to pump out. :D