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Monday, May 24, 2010

Staring at the back of ones head...

OK guys, so no cryptic title here at all. Just pretty straight up. I have been angling to blog this for a few days now, I'm even giving up valuable assignment time for this, but i felt it important to address these random ramblings in my head before it became a major problem for me.

So, i have had two major sabbaticals from blogging, for very good reasons. But news is I'm on the road to recovery, having lost a dear family member, problems with our rent, issues with centrelink, lost my phone, failed my P's test and slept a grand total of about 20 hours this month, i am totally on a roll.

However, nuff' said on that, i have more pressing issues to expect, namely the one that details my thoughts about a person after staring at the back of their head. I know what you all are thinking, i am out of my mind right? I probably am, but at least i will hopefully get my point across, before my mind vacates my body for good.

So the other day, i was staring at the back of my best friend's head (sorry for this, but your hair just entranced me) and i realised something. Its a thing i frequently do to many a person who takes the seat in front of me, not because i am searching for something, but it is a way of looking at a person, without it being creepy, and having time to absorb things without it looking like you are staring them down.

I realised that by staring at the back of a person's head, i had so many random thoughts, including how that person makes you feel. I did this many times throughout the day, and i must have been grinning like an idiot by the end, because i know that each time my eyes fell on that oh- so- familiar spot i began to think about the last thing that person said or did to make me smile. This worked with nearly every person who sat in front of me.

On the other hand, when a person that i didn't know sat in front of me, i had the strange urge to tap them on the shoulder and get them to turn around so i could see their face and possibly ask them a question so i could hear their voice.

It was this that made me think, when we initially make friends, what is the first thing we look at, or what is the first thing that we see that makes us think we are comfortable enough to talk to them?

I generally become entranced by people's eyes, and majority of the time, i cannot look away when people talk to me (especially if your eyes are green or blue!). Often people find this confronting and tend to think you have a few screws loose, when you observe their facial expressions for so long.

This brought me back to staring at the back if someones head. It is so easy to do, and it makes you wonder what the person looks like or what they are thinking if you don't know them or can have the ability to evoke a strong emotion such as anger, love, happiness or contentment when looking at people you have strong connections with.

I also don't know whether this minor obsession stemmed from my fetish with amazing hair? Seeing as that is probably the first thing i look at when i see a person. I am genuinely an analytical sort of personality, but never out of malice, mainly out of curiosity.

I definitely had more thoughts than this about this subject, but as the days have passed, so too have the thoughts been filtered, to be left with the lest crappy elements of my thought process.

Thanks for listening! :)

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